October 27, 2009

Personal space, or "How I Almost Starred in a Lifetime Network Movie"

We were at D1sney W0rld this past weekend, enjoying the fruits of Walt's labors. While there, we had a lovely meal with Cindy-relly and family and then opted to head out to D0wnt0wn Diz afterwards.

While waiting for the magical bus to take us there, a heavyset woman on the next bench struck up a friendly conversation with me. She asked where we were from, how old the girls were, etc. A few minutes go by waiting and the nightly fireworks began to go off. Not a problem for most people, however, when you have a child with the world's most sensitive hearing, all hell breaks loose. There is much covering of ears, crying, and general unhappiness.

It got taken to a new level however when baby girl realized that she too could pull this card and get attention from mommy and daddy. So now we were faced with not one, but two unhappy-at-hearing-the-fireworks kids throwing fits. Yea us! While trying to talk them both down from the ledge, the bus arrives. Standing up to walk over to it puts us out further into the night sky and the fiery hell that is the fireworks a fair distance away in the Magic Kingdom. Cue more screaming and fussing.

And then...cue the heavyset lady going over and picking my baby girl up, holding her up to her neck and comforting her...all while I stood there in a stupor, dumbstruck at this move (and dumbstruck at the fact that baby girl has allowed someone other than me--and a stranger at that--to pick her up)! Then my mind starts going a hundred miles a minute...visions of her running off with baby girl, I'm going to have to chase her, or knock her down, or both, or something else entirely. OMG...what nerve she has, yet I am still in disbelief at this turn of events. The husband is giving me the stink eye to do something (what, he can't go over and take her himself?).

This woman takes her onto the bus, with me all but up her ass behind them. She sits baby girl down on a seat, then sits two away, while I sit down next to baby girl. Big sister then proceeds to sit down right next to the heavyset woman and chat her up. What kind of weird alternate universe am I in?

A few minutes later, the heavyset woman starts chatting me up as if nothing happened. She is so tired she says, being pregnant and all (which was hard to tell given her stature). She is 15 weeks along she tells me, and then she tells me how her first was a tubal, the second she lost at 17 weeks. I extend my sympathy, tell her how I lost my first one, commiserate that she's probably terrified until she reaches the 17 week mark and passes it with this one, and so on.

And then it hits me.... She could be the woman who finds out where I live (I did tell her the city, who knows how hard it might be to figure out the rest), kills me, my husband, and big sister, and takes baby girl for herself, having told everyone she was pregnant when she really wasn't. Hey, it could happen...it has happened in different scenarios. And she might have a tough time passing off a 2 1/2 year old baby girl as her own but I imagine stranger things have happened.

Looking back on it now, it was harmless, but while it was happening I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I could only think, if I snatch baby girl back from her, it might offend her. Why would I care about offending this stranger? Maybe she was counting on my shock to give her an opportunity but then realized it wouldn't work. IDK, but I do know that something like that won't ever happen again. I don't care who I offend.


  1. wow.
    that lady is all kinds of crazy. I would NEVEr pick up a stranger's kid.
    So glad things were ok. I had a similar situation--not with the kiddo, but where I told an alarm salesman that our alarm wasn't hooked up, my husband was out of town and that our dogs might bark a lot, but don't bite.
    Everything was ok, but the alarm guy said somethng about how I shouldn't have told him all that in casual conversation, etc.
    And I like to think of myself as smart... but ...it caught me off guard.

  2. oh.my.gosh.
    I just had to tell you that my word verification was


    I'm laughing so hard!!!