February 22, 2011


In the many months since last you heard from our intrepid heroine, there have been a few 'firsts' around here.

Notably, there was the loss of the first tooth. A rite of passage for any child and the parent(s) of that child. It certainly was here. There was much iridescent fairy glitter dropped where the tooth fairy came in the window and flew through the room, along with a crisp $5 bill. WHAT? Too much? Heck, it was a first tooth! Consensus dictated! I assure you, subsequent teeth won't come at such a high premium (what happened to getting a quarter like I did back when I was a kid? These kids nowadays....).

Arguably more notable was the first note home from the teacher (well, I mean, unless you're homeschooling, that is and then you won't have to deal with this, hopefully). You know the one, it typically goes something like "Johnny/Susie was not listening/was talking/was not doing their work/was misbehaving," and the like.

So, as a parent, you address the note with your child and discuss why there are rules and regulations and what repercussions are ("re-purr-what, mama?"). Promises are made (usually not by you) to never do it again, and the matter is hopefully resolved and a lesson learned. And then you tell your spouse about the note after he or she gets home from work, which in turn means that he or she will feel compelled to also talk with your child about rules and regulations and repercussions the next morning (because your child will already be in bed by the time this matter is brought up to the spouse). And which may lead to a response from your child (or, in this case, from my 5-year old child) that goes something like this:

"WHY are we still talking about this?! I know, I know."

Yes, you read that right. Don't forget to add the dramatic eye-roll as you read that to yourself, in order to duplicate the actual experience that much more. 

Why yes, she is 5 going on 15, thank you.

Apparently, I am--how you say?--fucked? Also apparently, this is why I was blessed with 2 girls--so I can doubly reap what I sowed between the ages of, oh, say 10 and 20. It's just starting earlier...it's all about the exponentials people, exponentials.

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