November 18, 2009

Food for thought

Today I saw my family doctor about a new mole I'd found on my scalp. It was dark and irregularly shaped so she did an excision.

As the lidocaine was being injected into my scalp to do the procedure, it hurt a little and I commented on it, saying, "It hurts a little but it's okay, I've given birth to two children, I can handle it."

Then my doctor segued into a "why stop at 2?" discussion. She went on to say that when she was 15, her older brother, who was 19, was killed in a motorcycle accident. She said she tells all of her patients not to stop at two children because if, god forbid, something happens to one of them, it's the other one who bears the brunt of it.

I imagine she knows what she's talking about, having herself been in that very situation...but now she's planted just the tiniest seed of 'what if' in my head.

For us, one baby was a miracle, two a blessing. Anything more seems to be asking for too much. I'm 40, soon to be 41. We're out of diapers now and in panties (hooray!), the bottles are long gone, and the sippy cups may soon follow. Soon we'll be down one preschool tuition when big sister starts kindergarten this August, a nice little bump back into our monthly budget, but...

Could we do it all again? Should we do it all again?

What if....


  1. I have to be honest....if the world aligned in that one impossible way for us, then I would love to have another. Between our pending bankruptcy (thank you Infertility, TTC and 2 terrifying pregnancies with a 12 week NICU stint!) marital issed caused mostly by the mentiond issues, and the fact that my clotting disorder and history of pre-eclampsia makes it likely to be a near-fatal, if not actually fatal, trip for one or both of us...ugh...I think I got lost in my own horror story there. I think it's always best to examine yourself first and foremost. I knew all along that I wanted a child even if my marriage failed. Yes, I got 2 extra, and I'm still working on the marriage. I have no regrets about the children, though, and I remain convinced that we're making progress. If I had truly given up, then I would have terminated my last pregnancy upon realizing that we had somehow conceived without a plan! *hug* Good luck!

  2. I say if you really want another child (for whatever reason or no reason at all) and have the resources to care for him/ her, then go for it...

    Glad to find you blogging again!